Possibilities Newsletter | February 2021

New Perspectives: On Hope, Helplessness and Honouring

Hoping that it won't rain tomorrow, or that we will win the lottery is a state of wishful thinking and may be rooted in false optimism. It's characterised by being aimed at things over which we are concerned but have no influence.

Skilful hope though is focusing on possibilities within our circle of influence. That sort of hope can propel us towards determination to make a difference in our circumstances.

In his original theory of ‘learned helplessness’, psychologist Martin Seligman posited that it was repeated adverse events beyond our control that could lead to passivity. Coming to believe that nothing we do matters encourages us to do nothing.

However, the insights of neuroscience in subsequent decades showed Seligman that his original theory had it backward. His conclusion five decades after his original experiments is that passivity and heightened anxiety are not learned responses in reaction to prolonged bad events, but the default mammalian reaction. We must in fact practise agency and learn that we can escape adversity. In other words, to escape a sense of helplessness in adversity, we must learn hope through acting upon what we can influence.

What does this mean for us at this time?

In interviews about his book "The Promised Land", Barack Obama reflects that the leaders like Gandhi or MLK who inspired and gave hope to so many were "fully absorbed in the tragedy of their times". They did not gloss over the adversity they faced but focused purposefully on what they could try to influence, with the support of others.

Wishful thinking, doesn't honour the truth of what is beyond our control. Similarly, helplessly declaring there is "nothing we can do" also fails to honour what is true. Even when we lack control over a situation there is much that lies within our influence: at the very least, we can influence our own emotions, mood and response.

When, for ourselves or clients, we reframe a situation, take a step back and a fresh look, identify and accept constraints but also look for things we can influence, we switch from a default mode of helplessness to one of agency. We are put 'back on track' and more able to to fully utilise our resources including our own natural capacity for re-imagining our lives.

Honouring the truth of what we can and cannot influence moves us from default helplessness to purposeful hope and thus towards skilful action that can make a difference to the experience of our lives.